Personal Essay
It all started with a girl named Anna. My first thoughts of her were completely different from what I thought of her at the end of our relationship. Things had drastically changed for the worse over a period of time. We had met through a friend we had both known for a while now. She seemed like the perfect girl. She was such a happy person with such a happy past. She was never really sad, or doubtful. I was 16 years of age, and I thought I was ready for love, and for the dating life. Life seemed so good, and it seemed like things were finally going my way. I was starting to feel better, and bettering myself. I had a girl I liked, and what I thought a girl liked me.
We talked every day, until we couldn’t talk anymore. She made me feel special, and was a light in my life. Everything was good until she was suddenly not able to hang out anymore. It was not until later that I figured out she had not told her parents she was seeing a boy. At first I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I didn’t realize that this would be a certain demise of our relationship. The honeymoon stage wore off quickly with her. She soon became this negative person I no longer knew. We still had our good moments but most of our time together consisted of short arguments that lead to nothing. She was so much fun being around and texting, but when I saw her true self it gave me a view of the side of her I have never seen. She had such a negative vibe about her that just affected my life for the worse. Her negativity rubbed off on me strongly, making my life seem like a grey rainy day, even on the good days. I ignored the red flags toward the beginning of the relationship. She had been my first love. Love can be very blinding, and can distract you from the person you are truly with. Her relationship with her father and mother showed what kind of person she was. If she did not tell her parents she was seeing a boy, I wondered what other things could she hide from me. Once she gave me one reason to not trust her the trustworthiness wore off quickly. Before the bad things she gave me feelings I have never felt. I felt true love from another girl for the first time. This feeling made me so happy, and it made mestay in this toxic relationship far more than I should have. She really cared about me for a while asking how I was doing, and really showing me how much she loved me. Love is tricky. Especially for a young person who is not fully matured. Ignoring red flags had been the biggest mistake I had made with this girl. You need to see past the feelings of your heart, and really use your brain in a relationship. Ignoring such things will lead to a toxic relationship, and non fruitful life.
It was not until later after being single for a while that I truly found my happiness. God had pushed his way into my life through many ways, but through a break up is not how I expected to be closer to him. A girl is not what I needed for happiness. God should be the thing in my life that I should put all my trust into. Only through him I felt like I was truly happy, and it led to having a more positive outlook on life more than a relationship with a girl had ever given me. I felt so broken after ending the relationship. I searched for things to make me feel better, and the only true happiness was in front of me the whole time. The endless love of God.